I’ve recently noticed a pattern in my mood and the extreme swings I’m struggling to get under control.
Over the last 24 hours I’ve felt both true joy and also the deepest of pain. But often, the pain is followed by a sense of erratic and ecstatic emotions. It’s almost as if instead of processing these emotions, my brain goes into overdrive and I go so incredibly numb that any normal response to things goes out the window and I lose the plot entirely. It’s honestly rather frightening and I don’t really have much of a grip on how to handle it. If I try and allow myself to think about things or the situation that’s causing so much distress, I get diverted to another part of my brain where nothing and no one matters and that’s how I handle it. And as horrendous as emotional pain/trauma/sadness can feel, constantly blocking or avoiding really working through those emotions isn’t productive either. The mind is truly a complicated thing.